Oh, my! A new malady has crept up on us, attached to what appeared to be a timesaving, environmentally friendly and attractive new companion. It has burrowed ominously into the inner depths of our personal, professional and spiritual lives.

I call it, “Computechitis.” It has quickly surpassed the formerly pervasive, “Autotechitis” that still runs rampant in society, and from which we have suffered greatly, for nearly a century.

There is currently no cure for Computechitis. We can only suffer through it until demise offers bittersweet relief, or pay the price to be completely cleansed and begin anew. This often results in loss of memory and neurological disorders, in addition to a hefty price tag.

It comes upon us so insidiously! One minute we are elated by our power, entertainment and professional purpose in one, shiny, new-fangled (high-dollar) contraption. A godsend to society (we’re told) that we just know will take us, surely, into the next decade, at least.

Then it hits. Within mere nanoseconds, Computechitis has wormed its way into our futuristic, forward-thinking, state-of-the-art friend and rendered it hopelessly archaic, and often in need (yes, already) of updating. At the very least, it will require thorough and invasive decontamination.

I want your vote! Do you agree? Has the computer surpassed the automobile in our level of frustration due to malfunctions and their technology that prohibits the average person’s ability to correct problems, without spending inordinate amounts of time and/or money ... ? [Whew! that was a long sentence! :-) ]

My own ailing friend is “only” four years old, but Computechitis struck in its first year. It now struggles valiantly to keep up with the daily injection of faster, bigger, more arrogant software and “upgraded” machines.

I fear for his life, even as I write this, but a new, pompous replacement is not in my budget this year. For now, I’ll just have to apply another patch.